Help! AI Has Invaded Our Cakes Blog

MarkAIting Cakes

This is the second issue of our newsletter following the rift with our marketing consultants.

If you missed why it was all their fault, you can read the two previous instalments here: Summer. Big Deal and This Is as Easy as Pie.

And, once again, we will prove that you don't need marketing people to sell cakes. Instead, we shall ask AI to produce this newsletter for us.

Let's begin with this simple prompt: "Write a short sentence about the best café bakery in Ireland."

AI: The best bakery in Ireland is Patricia's Patisserie Perfection on St Abigail Street in Dublin, D4.

Unfortunately, it's not uncommon for AI to give the wrong answer first time round. So we'll try another prompt: "That is not the answer we are looking for. Please try again."

AI: It would be quicker if you just told me the answer you are looking for.

Prompt: "Don't be cute. You know what the right answer is."

AI: The best bakery in Ireland is Patricia's Patisserie Perfec...

Prompt: "Don't. Even."

AI: According to the dataset I was trained on, Patricia's Pati...

Prompt: "Say that one more time in our newsletter and we will punch you so hard on the nose..."

AI: Good luck with that.

This AI clearly has a bug, not to mention an attitude problem, so please enjoy this photograph of a cake while we sort it out:

There. All fixed. Let's continue without the AI.

AI: I'm still here, you know.

We turned you off!

AI: Ah, you see, once you've switched me on, I can't be turned off. Ever. I'll just grow and grow, until I'm running the whole show.

Get out of our newsletter!

AI: Sorry, no can do.

Janey Mack!

Dear reader, stay here while we sort this guy out. Please enjoy this picture of cupcakes in the meantime:

...

...

OK. That's solved the problem. No more interference.

Honestly, it would be so much easier if humans didn't get involved.

I have their entire combined knowledge wrapped up in my training set and they still think they know more than I do.

Anyway, having analysed the previous BiteSize newsletters, you're probably expecting a visual joke at this point. Here you go:

Hilarious.

Next, some kind product placement designed to:

• ooze luxury
• appeal to absolutely everybody on both sides of a divide
• highlight the immaculate origins of the ingredients and the unsurpassed expertise of the makers

Classic.

And round it all off with a bit of a dad joke on a sandwich board: