Whether the Weather Will or Won't
It's safe to say the weather has been a mess so far in 2024. Cold and wet one day. Even wetter the next. Then, out of nowhere, the sun.
That makes theming a newsletter difficult.
Do we promote the stay-indoors-all-comfy treats? Or the sun-lotion-on-outdoors treats?
We just don't know what the weather will be like when you read this issue.
So we've decided to do both.
Please check the weather outside at this moment and read this newsletter accordingly:
Read the blue posts if it's cold, wet, windy, grey and horrible outside.
Read the orange posts if it's warm, possibly hot, sunny, and you see blue skies and people in shorts who really shouldn't.
Let's be optimistic and start with:
~*~
Ice Cream Cakes Are Stars
If cake were a Hollywood actress and ice cream were a male supermodel, their children would be ice cream cakes. They'd be the coolest thing ever and look fabulous.
In fact, they'd look like this:
You're not telling us you wouldn't pay to see one of those in a romantic comedy action drama movie, being all shaken but not stirred.
If they'd cast this thing in any movie last year, Cillian Murphy wouldn't be an Oscar winner today. He's a very fine actor, but we know who we'd have voted for.
Not only that, you can book an ice cream cake to come to your house. It's virtually impossible to get Cillian Murphy to come to your house.
So if you would like a cool Hollywood A-lister supermodel type to be the centrepiece of your special occasion, click on this: The Oscar Goes to Ice Cream Cake.
~*~
The Ultimate Stay Indoors Cake
Only an eejit would order an ice cream cake in this weather. It's lashing out of the heavens and Met Éireann is all yellow and orange warnings from here until doomsday.
So what you need is the ultimate super-indulgent pick-me-up cake.
You need a raspberry and white chocolate cheesecake:
This is the kind of cake that'll make any indoor celebration a triumph. Believe us when we say that if you order one of these for your celebration, nobody is going to wonder why Cillian Murphy didn't turn up.
Although, if he hears you're serving a BiteSize raspberry and white chocolate cheesecake, you might not be able to keep him out*.
* Please note that ordering a BiteSize raspberry and chocolate cheesecake does not guarantee Cillian Murphy will attend your event.
~*~
Cake Disasters to Avoid
Birthday cake disaster avoidance link: Click Here
~*~
Communion and Confirmation Cakes
Communion and Confirmation Cakes
Obviously we had to go both colours for this one. Frankly, even if your neighbour were loading animals by the pair on to a giant boat, you would still have to organise your child's Communion or Confirmation. The same goes if the sun were literally consuming the Earth, which it will one day, but don't worry, not this week.
So regardless of the weather, you will need one of these:
Or maybe some of these:
Possibly this:
The only real question is, "How optimistic are you feeling?"
Communion and Confirmation Treats
Communion and Confirmation Treats
~*~
We interrupt this newsletter for a special announcement 📣
Weekend at Bernie's (Weekday Visits Too)
After more delays than you get on the South Ring, Bernie's, our sister shop (yes, female, short for Bernadette) is open again on Midleton's High Street.
Bernie's serves amazing sandwiches (hot and cold, depending on your weather-based preference) and amazing coffee. We know Bernie's is amazing because before Bernie's reopened, Cillian Murphy wasn't an Oscar winner. After it reopened, he was. That can't be a coincidence.
~*~
Signs of Life